Experience of Communicating Badly

Experience of Communicating BadlyIt is impossible to express fully what the experience of communicating badly has been to me. So many other people I know have been in my shoes, have experienced the powerlessness and helplessness that come with having a personal relationship that feels like a one-way street. Because of the simple fact that I was constantly being yelled at by a parent or teacher, I probably had the worst communication in school of anyone, who happened to be the target of my ire.This just goes to show that the power and authority that are associated with bad-communication experiences have more to do with how it plays out than it does about what we say. I can remember the feeling of being unable to communicate with the person I loved.The bad-communication experiences taught me that the act of communication itself is limited by the very nature of the human body and psyche. The most common mistakes that people make when they attempt to communicate are like this: they try t o do too much, take a stance that is a bit too extreme and begin to have fights with their readers.The answer is to become more in tune with our audience feelings, and especially the feeling of being non-threatened. One of the best ways to do this is to listen as your audience speaks. Allowing yourself to simply listen without participating can mean the difference between listening and arguing.When you hear your audience speak, you can then get into the habit of taking notes, recording them and then transforming the notes into conversation flows. When you think about it, this really isn't so different from the practice of jotting down your own thoughts and ideas and then taking note of how you relate to the way others see things. Then you can translate your ideas and beliefs into something that will help others understand your reality better.When you allow yourself to completely listen and then take notes, you are creating the experience of communicating badly. The language of commu nicating badly is the power of being irritable and responding to things that are not acceptable. The number one reason that people often communicate badly is because they are not comfortable with their feelings.Finally, the worst mistake that someone can make when they are in the process of creating the experience of communicating badly is to tell a story and hear the story. Instead, they should respond by talking and listening, and you as the listener should generate the story.I have spent more time trying to create a list of the most common mistakes that people make when they are in the process of communicating badly, than I ever have when dealing with bad-communication experiences. The truth is that when you live through the experience of communicating badly, you can change the course of your life forever.